Stress and the schoool science fair


Read my Response to this Article!

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Globe and Mail - Apr 16/04
Margot Innes
Stress and the school science fair

      Parents are instructed to 'help' but it seems to me that the word 'help' has different meanings for different people.

      By MARGOT MACINNES The Globe and Mail Friday, April 16, 2004 - Page A18

      The end of the most depressing and stressful season of the year is at hand. It's not the bitter cold, cabin fever, shovelling, difficult commutes, or even the long stretch without a statutory holiday. We laugh in the face of winter and value it as a character building experience. No, winter does not try us; it's the school Science Fair that causes stress!

      This event requires children to explore some area of science in which they feign an interest. The announcement letters come home from school shortly after Christmas. They are followed by a 55-page manual outlining student responsibilities. The child must first ask a question, then predict the answer, experiment to test the prediction, draw conclusions about the results, and state how all of this will help humanity. It must be quite frightening for parents of those precocious children who choose a project for which the result is actually an unknown.

      Parents are instructed to "help", but it seems to me that the word "help" has different meanings for different people. The amount of help given will depend on a combination of how much the child needs, how much the child wants, parental interest, parental ability and mostly, parental ego. Standing back and observing parents at their child's display on the day of the fair surely confirms this.

      Sifting through the 55-page manual you soon find that the first step is to choose a project. A child left alone might choose to grow bacteria, which seems harmless enough, until two weeks before the due date, you come out of your usual fog and realize that this bacteria can cause serious illness, and it is growing on your kitchen counter. What harm is there in perusing a few books, and 37 websites, to find the perfect balance between complexity of project idea and ease of completion?

      After finding the perfect project, it is time to take on the most daunting task: marketing the idea to your child. Since it is their project, it is important that they buy into it. A direct approach is the most likely way to hear a resounding "No way."

      Unless you are a top sales achiever in a Fortune 500 company, you probably don't possess the skills necessary to complete this on your own. You might consider hiring a consultant to assist you. It is better to drop the bucks at this stage rather than spend even more on family counselling, after letting your child choose a project beyond your abilities.

      Once the project has been chosen, a "map" is necessary to get you from point A, which is nowhere, to point B, which is a succinct, but attractive display that your child will set up at the fair. You need to sit down and come up with a mutually agreeable timeline. Your child should assign estimated completion times for each task. Of course, this is a bit challenging, as the student knows nothing about the topic, which is the whole reason for this exercise. The beauty of having the timeline is that it facilitates nagging and stressing.

      Following the map is the simple part. The steps of the project will be completed in a logical sequence until, finally, the results are analyzed and conclusions are drawn. But do not fool yourself into thinking that you have reached the conclusion simply because conclusions have been drawn. Every painful step of the 2 1/2-month process must be recorded, and it is now time to enter details into the progress reports, logbook, science fair report, and of course on the scintillating display that will captivate the judges. After all, the due date is looming large. As a matter of fact, you will be doing well if it was not yesterday. At this point, your job as a parent is to proofread the copious quantities of paper that will be spewing forth from the computer printer. The degree of pickiness will depend on how well your child is coping, what time of night it is, and how vindictive you are feeling.

      The absolute final moment of project work will be completed in the garage, looking for one of those extra-large garbage bags. Into it, you will help your child carefully place the uncluttered yet informative display. Taping it shut is a fine idea, because it will be precipitating when it is transported and cardboard and printer ink are not at their best when wet. Helping your child to carry it to school might also be in order, as a large flat object against the wind can cause a smaller person to move backward.

      The day of the science fair your child will spend sitting by their display, answering questions about their work. Any projects with small animals or something to give away attract the most attention. In the absence of these draws, you will probably hear that it is the "boringest day ever." The amount of complaining will be in direct proportion to the number of friends that they have stationed in close proximity. Make sure your child has some comprehension of the project as the judges may be mean enough to ask trick questions. Resist the urge to answer yourself, and try not to hover around the space, straightening and dusting. Actions such as these are a dead giveaway that you have more invested in this affair than simply being the child's parent.

      Once the project has been safely stored in the attic, you can breathe a sigh of relief. That day is a day to celebrate, as it is the farthest day away from the next science fair. After your child has participated once, you will find that they exhibit a little less enthusiasm the next time.

      A common phrase around our house is: "I hate the science fair."

      To which I silently reply: "Not as much as I do."

      Margot MacInnes lives in Winnipeg.

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